Unless something is done very soon, this gambling town in southern New Jersey will have a new name: Atlantic Shoddy.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote that AC needed to become more like Las Vegas — an adult playground where "What happens here, stays here."
The problem with AC is that nothing happens there. It wasn't always so, but whatever experiences you have there today will probably be a story you can tell at the dinner table.
I suggested that AC turn up the heat. Bring in burlesque shows, cabarets, gentlemen's clubs, bawdy comics, pyrotechnics — you know, the stuff that would prompt people to make a trip to the ends of the Earth or, at least, to the end of New Jersey.
I also said AC needed a gimmick to distinguish itself from all the newer competitor casinos that are popping up in neighboring states and throughout the country. There are now 60 casinos on the East Coast alone and that number grows by the month.
My marketing trick: Legalize marijuana for use inside, and around, the casinos for customers who are willing to spend the night.
The column caught the attention of the management of Scores, the most upscale gentlemen's club in the country and the only one in an Atlantic City casino.
That's why I was sitting down in AC last Friday pow-wowing (and I do mean wow!) with Gia, Harley, Marilyn, Jamie Lynn, Azara and Symphony, who are featured entertainers at Scores $40-million facility in the Taj Mahal, the hotel/casino that was rescued from doom last weekend by some spare change from billionaire Carl Icahn.
(Yeah, guys, I know. This was a tough assignment! Maybe next time you can join me.)
So, girls, what is wrong with Atlantic City?
"They should make Atlantic City a place where you can come and have fun. Have a release from your stressful life, from your kids," said Harley, a beautiful brunette who has been stripping — that is, entertaining — for years.
"A place to come and have fun without getting into trouble," she added.
Ah, who would have thought of that? Grownups deserve some time away from the kiddies. Brilliant!
As to my idea on marijuana, the girls gave that a big "duh." Of course it should be allowed.
"Nowadays, marijuana is being legalized everywhere," said Symphony, a tall, beautiful African American woman. "Eighty-percent of the Atlantic City boardwalk is already 21 and over," she said, so there's little chance kids will be getting pot.
So that you know, the management of Scores and I invited New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie to our meeting with the dancers. Christie was off somewhere talking about pipelines, or Russia, or something that won't get people into Jersey casinos and save jobs.
But I sympathize. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to run for president in 2016 and hanging out with Gia, Harley, Marilyn, Jamie Lynn, Azara and Symphony — while their assets were hanging out — will probably hurt my chances.
It seems the only boobs Christie is willing to be near are his staffers who organize traffic jams.
I also personally invited Taj savior Icahn, who pumped $20 million more into the place. Icahn chuckled and said, "That sounds like fun." But no dice. He was too busy.
But that's the point — fun! Ever since Hurricane Sandy destroyed Atlantic City's buzz more than its facilities, many people have forgotten about this town.
And with 8,000 casino and municipal workers being laid off recently and more cutbacks likely to come, it's hard to find the money for an advertising campaign to get the buzz back up.
"Atlantic City needs more kinds of nightlife. Every week it should have some type of big-name entertainment. We need to bring Vegas east," said Mark Yackow, the chief operating officer of Scores Atlantic City.
A number of other casinos around the world have asked Scores to open a club on their premises.
There's one other thing you need to know about the restrictions that New Jersey has put on Scores in AC.
This complaint comes from me and not management, which sounds thrilled to be the only strip club in a casino. In Scores, the dancers need to wear pasties. Anyplace else in the state, girls can be completely naked if there's no booze.
People wonder why a supposedly sophisticated place like AC has relatively puritanical standards. "We get a lot of questions from people," said Jamie Lynn, a petite blonde in her 30s.
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