The seven best moments from this year’s ‘Bachelor’

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By Mackenzie Dawson

March 10, 2014 | 5:23am

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Juan Pablo Galavis, the former Venezuelan soccer player, begins his search for his soul mate, choosing from among 27 beautiful bachelorettes. Photo: ABC/Rick Rowell

It will be a battle of the blondes on the season finale of "The Bachelor" Monday night, when 32-year-old Venezuelan single dad Juan Pablo Galavis will have to choose between hair stylist Clare Crawley or pediatric nurse Nikki Ferrell. Who will he choose? Will the two women, sworn enemies, utter a single word to each other? It's anyone's guess, but it's certainly been a crazy season. Here are our favorite moments from this season of El Bachelor:

• When Clare arrived at the opening-night ceremony wearing a prosthetic baby bump. Gentlemen, when a woman shows up for a first date pretending to be pregnant, you can't say you haven't been warned about any manner of crazy that ensues. Points awarded to Clare for truly bizarre humor, though.
• Contestant Lucy — whose occupation was listed as "Free Spirit" — and her inability to keep her clothes on. Whether she was happily strolling down the street nude to promote animal adoption or flashing everyone in the pool, Kate Upton BFF Lucy Aragon seemed far-more-interested in having fun than in pursuing any great love connection with blond, bland Juan Pablo. For this, Free Spirit Lucy, we salute you.
• The Vietnamese Beach Incident (or, the time when Juan Pablo slut-shamed Clare). Getting caught up in the spontaneity of a moment, Clare knocked on JP's door and invited him for a midnight swim; he happily accepts, and there is a wild makeout session in the water. We didn't hear any complaints until the following day, when JP announced that the hookup had been a mistake — he has a 4-year-old daughter, after all. Clare was ashamed; tears flowed, and "I have a 4-year-old daughter" was firmly established as JP's favorite convenient excuse (followed closely by "English is my second language").
• Andi's dad. Hy Dorfman became the toast of Bachelor Nation during the show's "Hometown Visits" episode, wherein Juan Pablo visited four contestants and their respective families. When asked if he would give his blessing to Juan Pablo and Andi, Hy turned the question on Juan Pablo, asking him how he would feel if his own daughter came to him with a man who was dating several other women. "If I seemed over-protective on the show, it is because I am protecting the most spectacular, special, amazing daughter in the world," Hy tweeted after the show. The best part? If Andi Dorfman becomes the next Bachelorette, as has been widely speculated, we'll get to see more of Hy.
• Chris Harrison's barely concealed disdain for Juan Pablo. The host's normally jovial demeanor has been cool this season; it's clear from his flinty-eyed glances that he thinks Juan Pablo is a huge tool. In that estimation, he is far from alone; the hashtag "WorstBachelorEver" had plenty of entries on Twitter, and E! News published a recent story saying that Juan Pablo would not be cast on season 18 of "Dancing With the Stars" (he was reportedly seriously being considered at one point). It didn't help when Juan Pablo said a gay "Bachelor" doesn't belong on TV because gays are "more 'pervert' in a sense." He blamed it on the language barrier. Nice try.
• Sharleen. Professional opera singer Sharleen Joynt was a breath of fresh air on the show, a gorgeous, smart woman who, while physically attracted to Juan Pablo, felt she was missing that "cerebral connection" she needed. "I wish I was a little dumber," she said, frustrated with her tendency to "overthink" situations (not a problem shared by Juan Pablo). She mystified many of the other women, who seemed truly baffled that Juan Pablo was intrigued by the brunette. (Ladies, a hint: It could have had something to do with the fact that she wasn't falling over herself to date him.) Sharleen eventually left of her own accord, a refreshing change from the usual tearful rose ceremony rejection with the guy calling all the shots.
• When Andi left of her own accord (or, "Es okay"). Fellow gorgeous smart woman Andi was another contestant to feel that Juan Pablo's charms were only surface level; after a night in the Fantasy Suite that was anything but fantastic, she elected to leave as well. Juan Pablo's response to this breakup? "Es okay," he said, shrugging. And then, several more times throughout the farewell conversation: "Es okay." We hope he's looked into copyrighting this phrase; while "DWTS" doesn't look like it's going to pan out, there are always T-shirts and coffee mugs to be sold.

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