There's nothing grave about these inscriptions.
Tombstones can poignantly preserve the sweet memory of the dearly departed, but sometimes they can be bizarre, kinky — or downright mean, The Post found.
"He was a big golfer — but never as successful as he hoped," said Carole Cheskin, the widow of the recently deceased Joel.
"She put in her will that at the time of her demise he be barred from attending her funeral service," recalled Michael Lewis, owner of the Lewis Monument Co. in Glendale, Queens. "When she was being buried, there was a guard at the front who refused him entry."
As fate would have it, the son was the next of kin, so he was the one who bought the headstone and ordered this epitaph in the lower right corner: "RIHC."
Lewis recalled an exchange with the son: "He told me, 'It's a personal expression that my mother and I always use and it's very important to me.' He said, 'It means 'Rest in Heaven,' " with the C standing for the mom's first initial.
But after the marker was put up in a Queens cemetery, Lewis said, he received a call from a family lawyer angry over the acronym.
"He said, 'Do you know what that says? They had an expression that they used: Rot in Hell!' "
Some sentiments have to be kept even more on the down-low. One woman had to hide the inscription to her husband underground on the bottom of his footstone — because it was just too provocative, Lewis said. It said: "You were a great f–k," he recalled.
Inscriptions must be approved by a cemetery before work begins on the tombstone — and cemeteries reserve the right to reject them for any reason, according to Dennis Werner, president of the Metropolitan Cemetery Association.
"There are no specific guidelines," he noted.
That's why "Murdered by a Doctor" and "Murdered by her Husband" — two actual requests — didn't cut it, according to Patricia Levy, a vice president at Sprung Memorial Group on Long Island.
Family, too, can nix a request — like one recent order from a still-kicking 89-year-old man.
"He wants, 'Father of four wonderful daughters and a lying son,' " Levy said. "His daughter said, 'Just give him what he wants, and afterwards I'll change it.' "
Earthly passions often follow people to the grave. In the last week of 71-year-old Joel Cheskin's life, he told his wife, Carole, what he wanted on his gravestone: "At Last a Hole in One."
"He was a big golfer — but never as successful as he hoped," the widow said. "He was a man with a wry sense of humor."
The stone will be placed at New Jersey's Mt. Lebanon Cemetery.
"I was kind of surprised, but I liked it, so I decided that on mine, I'm going to get, 'I'm with Him,' with an arrow pointing to Joel," she said. "He would appreciate that."
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