We'd call these 2013 Yankees the "Heart Attack Kids," except that, typically, the biggest news made last night came from the 38-year-old who pitched brilliantly and the 43-year-old who didn't pitch at all.
Kids, they are not. But goodness, think of the cardiac arrest they must be causing throughout their universe of fans with their recent play.
"It turned into a really sticky situation," fill-in closer David Robertson said, after securing the Yankees' 2-1 victory over the Angels at Yankee Stadium. Every Yankees win turns into one of those. Which is why the safe bet is still that the Yankees, living on the edge, can't stick around.
Reuters
David Robertson (right, congratulating catcher Chris Stewart), was the story of last night's win, but it doesn't hide the fact that these Yankees don't score enough runs to stay away from close games, writes The Post's Ken Davidoff.
At 60-57, the Yankees lurk on the periphery of the playoff picture, extreme long shots while not quite dead yet. They have won two straight games for the first time since a three-game run July 10-12. Even as the 38-year-old Hiroki Kuroda bolstered his darkhorse Cy Young Award candidacy, tossing eight shutout innings, the bigger story arguably came when 43-year-old Mariano Rivera didn't come out for the ninth, prompting fans to chant, en masse, "We want Mo!"
Manager Joe Girardi told reporters Rivera, having pitched three of the five prior days and blown three straight save opportunities for the first time in his career, just needed a day off, that there were no health issues.
Then Girardi aroused suspicion by bolting from the news conference room straight to Rivera's locker, whispering a few items to the legendary closer before Rivera turned to meet his questioners.
The good news for the inquisitive types is we'll find out soon enough whether Rivera is OK. Because these Yankees never blow out their opponents.
The last time they won by more than three runs — the maximum margin by which you typically turn to your closer for a save — was an 8-4 victory over Kansas City July 11 at the Stadium.
"We talked about that all season long," Girardi said. "It's something that we're going to have to do."
Their lineup, featuring famous recent additions Curtis Granderson, Alex Rodriguez and Alfonso Soriano, no longer looks as pathetic, on the surface, as it did earlier in the year.
Nevertheless, these guys just don't put up runs. They have been outscored for the season, 465-442, and they rank 14th in the American League in runs, ahead of only the White Sox.
When asked if he allows himself to envision a 10-2 or 8-3 win, Girardi said: "I think like that sometimes. But, that's not who we are right now. It's OK. The bottom line is wins."
Wins are harder to tally when you play with such little margin for error. Girardi's decision to keep Rodriguez in the game in the ninth inning, rather than lifting him for defense in favor of Jayson Nix, resulted in Josh Hamilton dropping a humpback double over a helplessly slow A-Rod into short left field, scoring J.B. Shuck and putting Angels on second and third with one out and down by just one run. All while many patrons loudly explained to the backup closer Robertson they didn't want him in the game.
"That was a little different," Robertson said, flashing a look of bemusement. "It's not easy to pitch when the crowd's chanting, 'We want Mo!' when you're warming up. You've just got to just deal with it, go out there and try to finish the game."
Robertson had to navigate the situation seamlessly, intentionally walking Erick Aybar to go after righty bat Mark Trumbo, who looked horrible swinging through a pair of cutters for a strikeout. Then Chris Nelson, one of the approximately 48 men the Yankees have deployed this season to patrol the left side of their infield, worked the count to 3-1. Nelson fouled off the next pitch and swung through ball four, a high cutter, to give the Yankees the victory and send Robertson fist-pumping.
So onward they go, still breathing, still hoping for a miracle run. Suddenly winning a little. They're 21-14 in one-run games.
No way they keep up this run of ultra-close wins. It's too narrow a tightrope. For now, though, they sure are adding some spice to what had become a dreadful march to irrelevance.
kdavidoff@nypost.com
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