Andrea Peyser
Be STILL, commoners. All you ordinary humans, juggling such pedestrian concerns as budgets, belly fat and inadequate thighs — Gwyneth Paltrow is having a bad month.
The starving goddess — a lady of 40 who smokes tobacco (no calories!) and often exists on juices of kale and lemon — may have, finally, gone off the deep end.
A new survey in Star magazine ranks Gwyneth as The Most Hated Celebrity in Hollywood, quite a feat when you consider she's outpaced even Lindsay Lohan (No. 16), Chris Brown (No. 20), the despised Anne Hathaway, Taylor Swift and hideous Kim Kardashian.
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Gwyneth Paltrow
But the ridiculous habits of the Oscar winner (for 1998's "Shakespeare in Love''), which she promotes with near-religious fervor on her lifestyle Web site, Goop.com, have been accumulating, like the angry burn marks on her back from a once-favored health fad, acupuncture cupping.
Now, her neuroticism has exploded in our faces, like the ravings of some crazy-pants aunt, with this month's release of Gwyneth's new cookbook — and I use the term loosely, because cooking requires the preparation of actual food.
Some credit-card holders were willing to overlook Gwyneth's obscene, $458,003 list of spring's must-have essentials (what working woman should live without a $5,495 Valentino Rockstud python trapeze bag?) which she championed on her smug site. But few could get past a $300-a-day diet that cuts out most foods mere mortals ingest to stay alive.
And then, a crisis erupted. Even accepting that Gwyneth, as a friend suggested, is a "rich, white woman with an eating disorder turned into a branding opportunity,'' critics, from here to her home in London, could not abide the idea that she might subject her children, son Moses, 6, and daughter Apple, 8, to her punishing daily regimen.
In her book "It's all Good,'' Gwyneth, who's dabbled in juice cleanses and cupping — burning one's flesh with heated glasses as therapy for back pain — says the act of not eating saved her from something she thought was a stroke. It turned out to be a migraine and panic attack.
But rather than boost her bony self with a cheeseburger (No! Red! Meat!), Gwyneth responded to her body's cry for help with the "Elimination Diet.'' She removed every, last yummy food from her repertoire, including coffee, alcohol, dairy, eggs, sugar, corn, shellfish, fish, wheat, meat and soy.
One perfect vice remained: "My one light American Spirit cigarette that I smoke, once a week, on Saturday night,'' she said in the May issue of Harper's Bazaar. Obsessed with "finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu," she's scorched her perfect face with lasers and used the Botox needle — which made her look "crazy . . . like Joan Rivers.''
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